The Leaning Christmas Tree of 2018

Meet Mama

Sometimes Mama needs to be put in her place.

Say what?!?

Sometimes Mama has to put herself in her place. (She knows it’s true)

Fair enough

But not very often, Mama would like to add!

So now that I’ve caught my breath since Christmas I would like to take this moment to reflect upon my leaning Christmas tree. I’ve never thought of myself as one of those gals that obsesses over her Christmas tree. I mean scrolling through Facebook could give me a complex because man, some of your guy’s trees are top notch works of art. I’m artsy in other ways. My tree goes up and my kids decorate it. But a leaning tree? Now that’s another story.

So while at my nephews birthday party on the 8th of December I mentioned that we had yet to get a Christmas tree. William has been working A LOT. And he hurt his shoulder recently. So we were late getting our tree this year.
My cousin, Jodi looked to me with a shocked face and said “You know there’s a Christmas tree shortage this year, right?” I sneered at her because she’s untrustworthy. Like, she literally burnt me with a fork the week before. ON PURPOSE. But that’s a story for another time. So I’m cautious. Then she tells me it was on the news and that’s when I know she’s lying because she doesn’t watch the news!
Two days later while driving to our tree lot, I think of how my kids love to run through the tent of flocked trees and pretend their in the woods. We buy fresh mistletoe. We lovingly argue about what tree is perfect for us. Noble fir of course, it must be Noble fir. The workers kindly strap the tree on top of our car while we warm up in the car. It’s a THING. It’s TRADITION.

Our beloved Christmas tree lot a few years ago. Don’t we look SO happy?

Well this year, the tent was empty. The lot was bare. Those beautifully flocked trees behind us in the picture? Not a one in sight. I was so mad I didn’t bother to look at the mistletoe. My children didn’t frolick through the forest of their imagination.
The great Christmas tree shortage of 2018 was real folks. I walked out of the lot with a river of frustration running through me, and a trace of panic settling in my gut. Could Jodi have been right?
We silently drove to Home Depot.
Now, in the past Home Depot has had decent trees. The experience isn’t the same because the trees are tied up and stacked against each other. But that’s okay. I’m not about the experience anymore. I’m about getting a tree. We peruse the Home Depot tree situation.
Not. One. Single. Noble Fir.
That’s when the full blown panic set in. I broke into a sweat. William was annoyed. My kids were fighting. We drove to Lowes.
And in the back, in the very, very back. There was one tree. Just one. It wasn’t a Noble fir but I no longer cared. We paid for it and had to STRAP IT ON OURSELVES.
Gone was my spirit, my tree shopping joy. Because then I become consumed with the panic that the only tree in town will go flying off the top of our car due to our inept tying skills.
We made it home after a tense car ride. The tree is light as a feather and I literally brought it in by myself. My husband laughed at my stubbornness.
We put up the tree and I noticed it’s a Fraser fir. Have you ever even heard of a Fraser Fir? Yeah, me neither. But that’s not it’s only flaw. It’s crooked AF. Like it’s got scoliosis. I’m not kidding.
I angrily began putting the lights on while my husband watched with annoyance and a trace of disgust. Disgust at my behavior. I ignore him. And when I witness my tree tilted like the Leaning Tower of Pisa I pushed it in the corner and hoped it hid the tree’s major flaw.
My tree is so flawed.
William offered to go find another tree.
To make me happy. With a hurt shoulder.

That’s when I looked at my kids who were happily putting ornaments in all the wrong places, smiles on their faces. We were listening to Queen and they were marveling at all the ornaments they’ve made over the years. And it hit me- I gotta to love that fucking flawed ass tree. It’s imperfect like me, like my daughters and husband. And what happens to all those imperfect trees? They don’t get to go to the “Big Show” which is Christmas with a family of course. And that’s when I said to myself “Jenna. Check yoself before you wreck yoself” and turned to my daughters and said “ Who cares if our trees crooked? It’s beautiful in its own way and I love that it’s imperfect”
And they both looked at me, like, duh Mom. They had loved it all along. Not looking at it with a critical eye, but with a loving eye instead. Note to self- look at more stuff with a loving eye.

Our leaning tree of 2018

So there she is in all her tree leaning glory! And you know what? Fraser fir’s are excellent trees! They have excellent needle retention and a fantastic smell. Who woulda thought? I don’t remember many of our trees from the past, but this tree, this tree is unforgettable. Eat your heart out perfect Facebook trees! We love our imperfect tree! So what’s the lesson here folks? Next year get your tree early. Nah. I’m only half kidding.